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Ned Flanders always felt embarrassed whenever he and Lisa Simpson crossed paths in their neighborhood. He felt that Lisa was looking at him like she knew his secret – that he was into Lisa Simpson porn. He had been searching online for some time, and while he sometimes expressed shame at his online habits, he had yet to ditch the habit.
One day while rummaging through his closet, he stumbled upon an old magazine he’d forgotten about – a special edition all about Lisa Simpson porn, featuring some of his favorite actresses. Ned quickly shut the magazine and glanced out the window, feeling his cheeks flush with embarrassment in case anyone was looking.
But Lisa Simpson was standing there, her eyes locked on him and a knowing smirk on her face. Without having to say anything, Ned knew that she could see what he was hiding. Still, Ned couldn’t deny the heat rising in his body and the thoughts that started to form in his mind, he couldn’t deny that he felt attracted to her.
Ned stepped closer to the window and Lisa came closer. She seemed to be enjoying his embarrassment and confusion. She asked him why he had a Lisa Simpson porn magazine in his closet, and he didn’t know how to respond. She took a step back and told him that it was okay, she liked it. She could tell that he was just exploring his sexuality.
For a moment, Ned was too conflicted to move. But then, emboldened by Lisa’s acceptance, he stepped forward and tried to put his arm around her. He wanted to kiss her and explore their mutual interest in Lisa Simpson porn that had been hidden between them for so long.
But Lisa was unmoved by his advances. She told Ned that she was too sexy for him and that he should consider using his Lisa Simpson porn obsession in a healthier way. She offered him a few ideas, like talking to a counselor if he needed to and focusing on exploring his sexuality through more conventional means.
Ned nodded, a bit dejected, but thankful he’d been able to share his secret. Lisa Simpson porn might not have gone as it was imagined, but it had opened the door to the real thing – honest conversations about the topic. Ned thanked Lisa for her guidance and then ended the conversation, walking away with more knowledge than he had before.